"Firsters"
I have to let the Firsters go first, whether I want to or not. Firsters are people who are obsessed with being first, to the extent that they completely forget their manners. Or maybe it's a case of you can't forget what you never had.
If you want to see a Firster, go on a tour. There is at least one on every tour. It's a cosmic rule. Often, the tour group will be standing on the dock waiting for the guide. No one knows which direction the guide will come from and in which direction the group will be sent when it is time to board the bus. This must be excruciating for a Firster. Or maybe he (it's usually a he) looks at this as an especially fun challenge. Anyway, as soon as the direction of travel becomes evident, the Firster will scurry around and obtain the position of first in line. This is a highly developed skill and is interesting to observe from an anthropological point of view. It's not so interesting if you are a member of the group and a Firster has rudely cut in front of you or pushed you aside or stepped on you.
Why is it so important to be first in line? Obviously, you will then be first on the bus and you will have the best view. Once you get the front seat, you get to keep it for the whole tour (see "Homesteaders," below). (Whatever happened to the idea that the front seats are reserved for those with mobility problems?) First on means first off, so you can be first in all the other lines on the tour and first in the line to get back on the ship.
On the walking part of the tour, the Firster is always right next to the guide. The good guides all have microphones or radios, so it is not plausible that they need to be up front in order to hear. They park themselves in the best spot to see whatever it is we are supposed to see at that point of the tour and they stay there after they have seen it and they forget to move aside to let others have a chance to see or take an unobstructed picture.
The worst thing about Firsters is not their selfishness, it is their rudeness. If they can get past you in a sneaky fashion, they will. If they can't sneak past you, they will do whatever it takes to get past you. They will push, they will shove, they will tailgate, they will get out of line and run down another staircase, they will pretend they have an important question for the guide, they will pretend they are interested in purchasing the item the guide is standing next to. I am not making any of this up. I have seen it all and it cannot be clearer that the actions of these people are deliberate and calculated.
More than once, I have been the victim of a Firster. One stepped on my foot in Capri and knocked me down. He did not try to help me and he did not apologize. He was on my tour and he was an American. He had already cut in front of me a couple of times that day, and he was trying to cut in front of me when he knocked me down. Hooray for him - he was first in line to get on the funicular!
I usually try to keep politics out of my blogging, but I'm going to make an exception here. Firsters seem to fit the Tea Party model. You have no obligation to anybody else. You are only in it for yourself.
"Homesteaders"
Homesteaders are more benign than Firsters, but equally interesting to the shipboard anthropologist. Homesteaders can be found in any public area on the ship. They sit in the same spot for hours. They read, knit, play cards, talk, sunbathe. They bring a lot of stuff with them and spread it out and make themselves at home. They take off their shoes and put their feet up on the furniture. They spend more time in their "spot" than in their cabin. When they go, they leave trash and dirty dishes behind.
Admittedly, a homesteader has as much right to sit in his or her spot as the next person. It's a public area and it's intended that anyone can sit there. I like to go and sit in public areas myself.
Here's the difference: Non-homesteaders sit in public areas and use them for their intended purpose for an appropriate amount of time. And then they leave. Homesteaders sit in the same place all day, every day. If it's an eating area, they sit there playing cards for hours even if all the other tables are taken and people are walking around with plates of food trying to find a place to sit. If it is a quiet spot, they shuffle cards or make their dominoes clatter or talk way too loud.
When they go to eat lunch or to participate in an activity they often leave things behind to "save" their seats, even though they have been asked not to do this by the cruise staff. In fact, they usually "save" additional seats for their stuff so they don't have to put up with anyone sitting close to them.
Why do they do this? Here's my theory: They are cheapskates trying to game the system. Some people say they never spend any time in their rooms except to sleep and shower, so why should they pay for anything but an inside cabin? This is how you pretend to be practical when you are really just cheap. So they book inside cabins but can't stand to spend waking hours in those little caves, so they homestead in the public areas, preferably next to a window. If the weather is nice they go up to the sun deck before breakfast and put towels on deck chairs, even though there are signs everywhere saying that the reservation of deck chairs is not permitted.
People, were you absent from kindergarten on the day you were supposed to learn about sharing?
After Dinner we saw a show called "Spectacular."
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